The holidays can be a rough time if you’re trying to avoid really bad food, but those of us at Hell Food are not opposed to enjoying some treats here and there. After all, if you eat well and exercise year round, the holidays are not an issue. Moderation and consistency are always the key. Have a few treats and otherwise maintain your healthy habits and you will be fine.

This year, Kelly and I had a FSM themed holiday, and so our holiday meal was made up of Italian food. For this year’s dessert, I chose tiramasu. The last time I had tiramasu I wasn’t a vegan, so it was a challenge to find a good recipe. After doing some research I found a good one at the Insomniac Chef blog. After looking at the recipe, I felt I could make it without any issues. Here is the recipe from his site:

Sponge Cake:
(Based on recipe I found online by Candace Naomi Sakuda)
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup plus 2 Tablespoons canola oil
1 1/3 cups water

Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and mix until smooth and free of lumps. Pour batter into a greased 9 inch pan. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool complete and then slice it into lady finger shaped strips. Put the strips on a cookie sheet and bake in the oven at 400 degrees for 18 minutes.

“Mascarpone”
8 oz Soy Cream Cheese (I used toffuti’s vegan cream cheese)
1/4 cup soy sour cream (I used toffuti’s vegan sour cream)
1/4 cup vegan cream (you can try silk coffee creamer but I used Alpro Soya Heavy Cream which you can buy here)
2 tablespoons Amaretto
1/3 cup powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 tablespoon agar (this is a vegan gelatine, I found some at a Korean grocery near my house but if you do not have that kind of thing near you you may have to buy some online)

Bring heavy cream to a boil in a small sauce pan and then dissolve the agar into it and allow it to cool to room temperature. Combine the cream/agar mix with all the other ingredients above and beat well. Put the mix in the fridge to set for several hours.

Coffee/Liquor Dip
1 cup expresso
3 tablespoons amaretto
3 tablespoons sugar

Combine these ingredients and put in the fridge to cool.

Topping
1 high quality dark chocolate bar, grated (store in the refrigerator)

To assemble the dessert dip the “lady fingers” you made into the coffee dip and lay them in a large deep dish. Pour the “mascarpone” over top of the cake. Sprinkel the “mascarpone” with the grated chocolate and then chill the entire dish in the refrigerator for an hour or until you are ready to serve.

I did make two small changes. First, I was unable to find sour cream that was vegan in time, so I instead used soy vanilla yogurt, and a little extra cream cheese. Also, I didn’t have the exact sized baking pan required, so I used a round 9 inch pan instead. I think both these changes would be immaterial to the overall product.

The result, in my opinion, was great. It tasted pretty good. The fake dessert cheese reminded me of real mascarpone cheese, and the chocolate bar I picked added another level of expresso taste that really gave it some kick. Kelly didn’t like it as much as I did; she preferred the frozen browni trifle I had made before. However, even she had to admit it came out pretty good. I would do this recipe again, maybe next year as well. So if you’re tiramasu fan and a vegan, I highly suggest this recipe.

References:
http://insomniacchef.blogspot.com/2007/04/vegan-tiramisu.html

On a recent podcast, I heard about a food, so nasty and unhealthy sounding, I just had to write about it. It’s a bacon chocolate bar which you can read about here on Vosges Chocolates. It’s not a bacon shaped bar and it’s not an artificial bacon flavor enhanced bar. It’s real bacon in real chocolate.

The website doesn’t provide any nutritional information, but then again, if you’re interested in eating a bacon chocolate bar, you’re probably not that concerned with health. Due to the use of meat and the utterly unhealthy combination of bacon and chocolate, this bar isn’t getting the Hell Food thumbs up. My god, just eat an apple!

This will be short and sweet. While paying for gas recently, I noticed a treat inside the store that I hadn’t had for ages. Curious, I picked up the Nutter Butters to see the nutritional information. The particular sized Nutter Butter packaging I was looking at was for a 1.9 oz bag of them. I can’t remember exactly what they taste like but I bet they didn’t taste good enough to justify the calories: 260 of them in 1.9 OZ!!! 37g of sugar , 11g of fat and no nutritional value whatsoever.

Just pass on these peanut shaped pieces of Hell Food. You’d be better of drinking regular soda: less calories and more filling, but you know how much we hate soda here on Hell Food!

We’ve all seen the commercials these days by General Mills, promoting the “Whole Grain Nation”. Whole grain has been shown to be somewhat healthier than heavily refined grains. Products made with refined grain tend to be not much more than spun sugar. General Mills is now advertising their products as healthy just because of their whole grain content. I decided to take a look at what I thought was the least likely cereal to be healthy: Lucky Charms™.

I was a little surprised by what I found. Calorie-wise, the suggested serving size is only 110 calories. There is virtually no fat and the sugar content makes up only 7% of your daily recommended intake of carbohydrates. Some of the benefits of whole grain, though, don’t seem to make it into Lucky Charms™. One serving only contains 1 gram of fiber and 2 grams of protein. This isn’t horrible or unhealthy, but it’s not likely to give you a health benefit.

One thing that concerns me, is the very small serving size: 3/4 cup. Go find a measuring cup and poor 3/4 cup of Lucky Charms™. You’ll be underwhelmed by the small serving. That’s really the problem with breakfast cereals in general. The suggested serving sizes aren’t bad for you, but the portions are so small. Cereals are calorie dense products by nature, so you can easily eat too much.

I can’t honestly condemn Lucky Charms™ on a nutritional/health basis. It’s not great, it’s not bad. However, the marshmallows contain gelatin, and as a vegan, I can’t recommend it. I would suggest a less processed cereal without sugary bits.

Inspired by last night’s Coast to Coast AM show with Dr. Neal Barnard, I am going to promise myself to be more active on Hell Food. I am going to do more theme type days, like “Food Review Friday”. I think this might help with the discipline needed to maintain this site.

Today, on a whim, I did a Google search for “fast food”. I noticed the first sponsored link was from KFC, that bastion of health food. The headline of the ad reads “KFC is Zero Trans Fat”. Trans fat, of course, is the trendy food product to hate these days. I’m not saying it’s good for you, but let’s not act as if trans fat is somehow responsible for our awful eating habits.

So, I decided to click on the ad and look at the nutritional information for a single piece of KFC Orginal Recipe Chicken Breast. What I found wasn’t surprising. A single piece has one third of your recommended daily intake of fat, one quarter of your recommended daily intake of saturated fat, forty percent of your daily intake of cholesterol, forty-three percent of your daily intake of sodium, and three hundred and sixty calories. All in just a single piece of chicken. How many people stop at just a single piece of chicken? Not many.

KFC’s chicken no longer has trans fat in it, but it still has high fat and high cholesterol for not much nutritional value. Remember, KFC doesn’t just sell you a single piece of chicken. They include biscuits, mashed potatoes, and cole slaw, all with similar unhealthy attributes. So while KFC can claim to no longer contain today’s deadly food fad, it can’t purport to be healthy. It’s not.

If you really want a filling meal try this:

1 whole wheat hamburger bun    - 140 calories
2 Original Vegan Boca Burgers  - 140 calories
1 tablespoon ketchup           - 15 calories
1 tablespoon mustard           - 0  calories
1 cup mixed vegetables         - 90 calories

Fry the burgers in a frying pan with some vegetable broth,
and stack the patties on the bun
so you have a double burger.  Just heat the
vegetables in a microwave, and serve.

The meal adds up to 385 calories, more than the single piece of chicken, but you will be a lot more satisfied after this meal. KFC just can’t compete with that.

To support the vegan cause, I like to support business establishments that also promote the vegan lifestyle. I don’t mind paying extra for something if I know its for a good cause. During a recent trip back east I was in Rochester, NY, and due to a friends suggestion, I checked out a place called Two Paisans Pizza. What makes Two Paisans special? They have a good selection of vegan versions of their regular fare. I ordered a number of things from there one afternoon, and I enjoyed it all so much, I am posting this review.

Vegan Trash Plate

Rochester is home to the original Nick Tahou Garbage Plate. Like many, I was introduced to Garbage plates during college. You really couldn’t beat the price of $5.25 when you looked at the amount of food you received. In any case, many resturaunts have their own version of the famous Garbage Plate. Two Paisans is no different in that respect. However, what Two Paisans does offer that no one else does, is a vegan version. I hadn’t had a plate or variation in years, and when I saw that on the menu, I had no choice but to order it.

Two Paisan uses seitan for the meat and Vegenaise as a mayo substitute in the macaroni salad. You get two good sized vegan patties, lots of fries, scoops of macaroni salad, onions, ketchup, mustard, and crumbled vegan burger on top. It was the best plate I’ve probably ever had. Where as “real” plates, have a heavy, fat feeling to them, this vegan plate was all about taste. It was still very filling. It really was an amazing meal. I only wish I could order one and have it airlifted to Kansas City.

Vegan Buffalo Sandwich Sub

This was your standard Buffalo style sub using seitan and Vegenaise. The texture of the Seitan was very good and it tasted great. A very good sub, I only wish I had gotten more.

“Phillysteak” & Cheese Sub

I’ve never had a real Philly Cheesesteak. To me, it looks like a heart attack on a bun. Getting the vegan version doesn’t leave me with much to compare to. It was still a good sub though. I liked the seitan, the peppers, mushrooms, onions and vegan cheese. It was very tasty, and I can’t imagine I’d ever want the “real” thing.

Vegan Calzone

The vegan calzone is not really on the menu. I called up Two Paisans and asked if they could substitute vegan cheese in their veggie calzone, and they obliged. About fifteen minutes later, someone from Two Paisans called me back and asked if I wanted them to throw in some seitan. I said go for it.

The result was a large, tasty calzone that I got three meals out of. The cheese tasted great and I enjoyed the selection of vegetables.

Conclusion

Everything I tried from Two Paisans was quite good. I would definitely go there again if I ever come back to Rochester. It would be probably be my first stop. Hell Food gives Two Paisans a very enthusiastic recommendation.

I happened to be at the checkout line at Sam’s Club the other day, buying my usual 20 gallon jars of mustard and ketchup, when I noticed a mother ahead of me in line. She had her two little fat kids with her, begging for soda. Nothing says good parenting like buying 44 oz Cokes for eight year olds. In addition to the soda being bought, I noticed that she had two cases of Ding Dongs in her cart.

Ding Dongs are supposedly a baked good, however, they almost look like they were created with injection molding. In any case, I decided to look at the nutritional information of this “treat.”

I wasn’t surprised to find that a single serving of a Ding Dong is considered one whole Ding Dong, and that the single serving contains 368 calories, 11 g of fat, and 45 g of sugar. Technically, Ding Dongs are low in cholesterol, but who cares about that, when each Ding Dong is a chocolate brick on the road to “Diabetes City”. The picture on the box is somewhat nauseating. What is that white filling made up of anyway?

The mother either didn’t know about how bad Ding Dongs are for her kids, or just wanted to kill her kids with sugar. Judging by the round shape of her kids, I’m not sure which.

I was reminded this week by a friend of mine who lives in Boston, about the lack of Dunkin Donuts in the Kansas City area. If you ever go to Boston, however, you will see Dunkin Donuts practically on every street corner. We have donut chains in Kansas City, but nothing like that.

What we do have, though, is Krispy Kreme. The only time I have ever had Krispy Kreme donuts was when I lived in Rochester, NY, and the grand opening of a new store was big news. My brother and his friend waited in line over thirty minutes to buy a dozen of their standard donuts. It’s been many years since they bought them, but I can still remember the greasy feel of the donut in my mouth, and the quick sugar rush that ultimately caused a nasty headache. It felt like what I imagine a few lines of cocaine would feel like, but not quite as healthy.

If there is any food that is a “Hell Food”, it’s probably Krispy Kreme donuts. One donut has 200 calories, 100 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, and 22 grams of carbohydrates. It is also one of the most unsatisfying things you can eat. It’s mostly air and sugar, and does nothing to fill you up. Most likely, you will end up having a second one. There is not one redeeming thing about eating a Krispy Kreme donut. Over five years since my last Krispy Kreme, I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.

I need an apple.

After a long hiatus, I am returning to doing food reviews. Today’s victim is Welch’s Orange Pineapple drink. My office supplies two soda machines, and this drink is considered one of the “healthy” drinks. I used to drink it myself, thinking it was a better alternative to having a regular Coke. Oh how wrong I was.

The first thing that strikes me about the can, is the “Since 1869″ printed right below the “Welch’s” logo. I’m assuming the date is meant to hint to the consumer this drink has over one hundred years of use, from back in the old days when drinks were nothing but natural. I doubt the citizens of the 1869 United States ever drank anything like this.

The drink contains only 10% real juice. The rest is water and everyone’s favorite food, corn syrup. Throw in some yellow dye #5, and you get 11.5 oz of sugar water with 180 calories. The 180 calories for 11.5 oz of liquid is atrocious. While it also contains 100% of your daily need of vitamin C, it comes at the price of 45 grams of sugar. That’s nearly 20% of the recommended daily intake of carbohydrates in one little drink.

I can’t recommend Welch’s Orange Pineapple. Just eat an orange, some fresh pineapple, and a nice 16 oz glass of ice water. You’ll be much better off.

I haven’t done one of these in quite a while, but time to get back into the routine. I haven’t been posting as much lately, because I’m working on a diet plan, that I plan to publish in stages on the website. I believe Kelly and I have acquired enough good habits that are effective in losing weight, to warrant a plan. I can’t say that I could fill a book up, but at least a few posts.

I got the idea from my attempt to show off my diet plan by posting my meals on a daily basis. Well, that fizzled out as I got busy, but it inspired me to do more. Hence, the upcoming “Hellfood Guide to Diet and Weightloss”. However, for today, I am posting a quick review on Coca-Cola Classic, the poster child for popular soft drinks.

Coke considers a serving of cola to be 8 oz, which contains 97 calories. Coke sells cans in 12 oz sizes, not 8 oz. No one I know drinks two-thirds of a can of soda and then saves it for later. So in reality, the serving size that most people drink contains 146 calories. Cola doesn’t contain a single vitaman, contains 50 mg of sodium, and 40 grams of sugar. Every source I could find states that the reccommended daily intake of sugar is 40 grams per 2,000 calories. Wow. Your entire daily intake of sugar could be used up in one sickly, sweet can of coke.

Coke tries to suggest that their cola is a good way to hydrate, but who are they kidding? Just drink water!